Your Wedding Rehearsal . . . Down to the Wire
Plan the wedding rehearsal date well in advance. Give yourself enough time to make arrangements for use of the location(s), arrange and book a place for your wedding rehearsal dinner (if you're having one), and make sure all the "players," including the wedding Officiant, can attend.
Keep in mind that many of the participants may not have met each other. At the beginning of the rehearsal, take the time to introduce everyone and make sure that the wedding party knows who each other is and who will be walking with whom.
Begin by rehearsing the main event, putting all the attendants in their proper places at the altar. The attendants stand on either side of the Officiant, facing the bride and groom. This position allows your guests to see the attendants' faces rather than their backs. The bride and groom stand facing each other. The flower girl stands in front of the maid or Matron of Honor. If there are two flower girls, the second stands in front of the first bride's maid. The ring bearer stands in front of Best Man.
Once the main participants know where they are to stand, it's easy to rehearse the recessional. The bride and groom leave first and are followed by any children (flower girl and/ring bearer). They, in turn, are followed by the Maid and/or the Matron of Honor, the Best Man, and pairs of bridesmaids with ushers (groomsmen). The couples leave from the center out, i.e., the couple closest to the bride and groom leave first and the couple on the outside exit last.
Once the wedding party, including all the attendants, has exited, the families follow. First the bride's parents, then the groom's parents, then the bride's grandparents, and finally, the grooms grandparents. The rehearsal of the recessional is complete.
Now that you have everyone leaving properly, it's time to rehearse the processional. By now, you're a pro, so this will be a cinch. The processional gets a little complicated because of the different styles and ethnic variations. In the "traditional" wedding, immediate family members, including parents and grandparents, are formally escorted to their seats once everyone else is seated. In this case, specific seats should be assigned to family members. Ushers, if you have them, should know whom they will be seating, and vice versa. In less formal weddings, seat cards may be used to "reserve" seats for immediate family members. Should you choose to have your immediate family walk down the aisle, reserved seats may still be useful. In the event that family members will stand with the bride and groom, positions will need to be assigned to them as well.
When the processional music begins, the Officiant walks down the aisle first. The Best Man is next. The ushers are next, followed by the groom. Make certain that whoever is providing music can see all the attendants from their vantage point. The music begins either when the Officiant begins down the aisle, or when all the groomsmen and the groom have entered. At this point, the groom is facing slightly toward the aisle. The ushers are facing the groom and the guests.
This is the point at which the bridesmaids (from the outside toward the center) enter. An appropriate amount of space should be left between attendants, so they don't bunch up. The Maid of Honor enters next, followed by the Maid of Honor. The bridesmaids can follow a mirror image of where the ushers are standing. The ring bearer(s) and flower girl(s) enter next. The bride follows with her escort on her left. The bride, of course, waits until all the attendants are in their places before she starts down the aisle.
There are several ways for the bride and groom to "meet." The groom may greet the bride, part way down the aisle, offer his arm, and take her from her escort(s). Or, the bride may be escorted all the way to where the groom is standing. The groom stands to the right of the bride. The escort is seated or, in the case of a mother and father escorting the bride, they go to their assigned positions. If the escort is to respond to a question posed by the Officiant, he should remain standing until the question is asked and answered (e.g., "I do," "her mother and I do," or "on behalf of her family, I do").
The rehearsal of the ceremony contends with lots and lots of details. The more of these that are addressed before the actual event, the smoother things will go. Let's talk about the rings. If there is a ring bearer, then the pillow may hold the rings (if the ring bearer is old enough for the responsibility. If not, the rings should be in the possession of the Best Man and the Maid or Matron of Honor. A helpful hint is to keep the rings out of pockets. It's a good idea for the Best Man to put the bride's ring on his little finger and for the Maid of Honor to put the groom's ring on her thumb.
This is a good time for the bride to give her bouquet to either her Maid or Matron of Honor. When you exchange rings at the "real event," you will quite likely find that, to your dismay, one or both of the rings don't fit. Try not to struggle. No one will notice. Just wing it!
The ceremony continues and concludes with a kiss! It is at this point that the Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor returns the bride's bouquet to the bride. The bride and groom turn to greet their guests and the recessional begins. In some cases, the Officiant formally presents the new couple to their guests. When the music begins, the couple begins the recessional back up the aisle and is followed, in order, by their attendants.
Draw or otherwise create a sketch or diagram, to show where everyone will stand, enter and exit and in which order attendants will enter. This needn't be fancy, just clear enough so at the rehearsal, all the participants can understand it. Use text to list the lineup going in and out. Also include any other written information that participants may need. These drawings become a kind of "cheat sheet," that will reduce the stress-level and decrease the need to leave details to chance or to memory. These sheets can be mailed to participants who will not be able to attend the rehearsal and can be reviewed over the phone. E-mail can really simplify this process.
If you choose to have a rehearsal for your ceremony, it's important to remember that it too should be a pleasant adjunct to your wedding events. Make your rehearsal as much fun and as pleasant as you can. Your attendants will thank you and you will find that you too are far less anxious if you do it with a smile. Keep in mind that your wedding, although certainly an important event, is not by any means, a performance. It is instead, a very special moment that you choose to share with your friends and family. No one will be keeping score or taking notes. Everyone will be caught up in the joy of the moment.
If your budget permits, a rehearsal dinner is a lovely way of "rewarding" your attendants and creating a stress-free environment to review wedding details. Such a dinner not only extends the festivities, but also allows you to offer hospitality to out-of-town guests who incur added expenses by attending your wedding. The rehearsal dinner is a terrific way of having the "key players," including the immediate families and your attendants meet one another, as well as some of your guests.
Plan the wedding rehearsal date well in advance. Give yourself enough time to make arrangements for use of the location(s), arrange and book a place for your wedding rehearsal dinner (if you're having one), and make sure all the "players," including the wedding Officiant, can attend.
Keep in mind that many of the participants may not have met each other. At the beginning of the rehearsal, take the time to introduce everyone and make sure that the wedding party knows who each other is and who will be walking with whom.
Begin by rehearsing the main event, putting all the attendants in their proper places at the altar. The attendants stand on either side of the Officiant, facing the bride and groom. This position allows your guests to see the attendants' faces rather than their backs. The bride and groom stand facing each other. The flower girl stands in front of the maid or Matron of Honor. If there are two flower girls, the second stands in front of the first bride's maid. The ring bearer stands in front of Best Man.
Once the main participants know where they are to stand, it's easy to rehearse the recessional. The bride and groom leave first and are followed by any children (flower girl and/ring bearer). They, in turn, are followed by the Maid and/or the Matron of Honor, the Best Man, and pairs of bridesmaids with ushers (groomsmen). The couples leave from the center out, i.e., the couple closest to the bride and groom leave first and the couple on the outside exit last.
Once the wedding party, including all the attendants, has exited, the families follow. First the bride's parents, then the groom's parents, then the bride's grandparents, and finally, the grooms grandparents. The rehearsal of the recessional is complete.
Now that you have everyone leaving properly, it's time to rehearse the processional. By now, you're a pro, so this will be a cinch. The processional gets a little complicated because of the different styles and ethnic variations. In the "traditional" wedding, immediate family members, including parents and grandparents, are formally escorted to their seats once everyone else is seated. In this case, specific seats should be assigned to family members. Ushers, if you have them, should know whom they will be seating, and vice versa. In less formal weddings, seat cards may be used to "reserve" seats for immediate family members. Should you choose to have your immediate family walk down the aisle, reserved seats may still be useful. In the event that family members will stand with the bride and groom, positions will need to be assigned to them as well.
When the processional music begins, the Officiant walks down the aisle first. The Best Man is next. The ushers are next, followed by the groom. Make certain that whoever is providing music can see all the attendants from their vantage point. The music begins either when the Officiant begins down the aisle, or when all the groomsmen and the groom have entered. At this point, the groom is facing slightly toward the aisle. The ushers are facing the groom and the guests.
This is the point at which the bridesmaids (from the outside toward the center) enter. An appropriate amount of space should be left between attendants, so they don't bunch up. The Maid of Honor enters next, followed by the Maid of Honor. The bridesmaids can follow a mirror image of where the ushers are standing. The ring bearer(s) and flower girl(s) enter next. The bride follows with her escort on her left. The bride, of course, waits until all the attendants are in their places before she starts down the aisle.
There are several ways for the bride and groom to "meet." The groom may greet the bride, part way down the aisle, offer his arm, and take her from her escort(s). Or, the bride may be escorted all the way to where the groom is standing. The groom stands to the right of the bride. The escort is seated or, in the case of a mother and father escorting the bride, they go to their assigned positions. If the escort is to respond to a question posed by the Officiant, he should remain standing until the question is asked and answered (e.g., "I do," "her mother and I do," or "on behalf of her family, I do").
The rehearsal of the ceremony contends with lots and lots of details. The more of these that are addressed before the actual event, the smoother things will go. Let's talk about the rings. If there is a ring bearer, then the pillow may hold the rings (if the ring bearer is old enough for the responsibility. If not, the rings should be in the possession of the Best Man and the Maid or Matron of Honor. A helpful hint is to keep the rings out of pockets. It's a good idea for the Best Man to put the bride's ring on his little finger and for the Maid of Honor to put the groom's ring on her thumb.
This is a good time for the bride to give her bouquet to either her Maid or Matron of Honor. When you exchange rings at the "real event," you will quite likely find that, to your dismay, one or both of the rings don't fit. Try not to struggle. No one will notice. Just wing it!
The ceremony continues and concludes with a kiss! It is at this point that the Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor returns the bride's bouquet to the bride. The bride and groom turn to greet their guests and the recessional begins. In some cases, the Officiant formally presents the new couple to their guests. When the music begins, the couple begins the recessional back up the aisle and is followed, in order, by their attendants.
Draw or otherwise create a sketch or diagram, to show where everyone will stand, enter and exit and in which order attendants will enter. This needn't be fancy, just clear enough so at the rehearsal, all the participants can understand it. Use text to list the lineup going in and out. Also include any other written information that participants may need. These drawings become a kind of "cheat sheet," that will reduce the stress-level and decrease the need to leave details to chance or to memory. These sheets can be mailed to participants who will not be able to attend the rehearsal and can be reviewed over the phone. E-mail can really simplify this process.
If you choose to have a rehearsal for your ceremony, it's important to remember that it too should be a pleasant adjunct to your wedding events. Make your rehearsal as much fun and as pleasant as you can. Your attendants will thank you and you will find that you too are far less anxious if you do it with a smile. Keep in mind that your wedding, although certainly an important event, is not by any means, a performance. It is instead, a very special moment that you choose to share with your friends and family. No one will be keeping score or taking notes. Everyone will be caught up in the joy of the moment.
If your budget permits, a rehearsal dinner is a lovely way of "rewarding" your attendants and creating a stress-free environment to review wedding details. Such a dinner not only extends the festivities, but also allows you to offer hospitality to out-of-town guests who incur added expenses by attending your wedding. The rehearsal dinner is a terrific way of having the "key players," including the immediate families and your attendants meet one another, as well as some of your guests.